I wonder if this ordeal will end today, with my last exam.
Was doubly compounded because I got my period late last night, which meant I couldn't sleep at all due to cramps and tummy rumblings and such. I probably fell asleep for a couple of hours until my alarm rang at 9am... I woke up and decided to sleep for another hour... and in that one hour, as usual, I had to have a dream. Sigh.
The first part was some performance of some sort... I really can't remember what it was now (I think I was dancing) but I only remember us rehearsing the "finale" bit, where all the performers and crew walk out on stage to take our bows etc. So for some reason we're just standing around, and the scene appears to change...
Can't remember what event it was, but there was some event held at my condominium, and there were a lot of kids running around... There were a couple of boys that riled me a bit because they did something quite cruel to fish or something like that. They had something like a stone bowl in which they were mishandling a couple of miserable-looking fish. After the boys ran off, one of the kids I was with tried to scoop a fish up too and I quickly reprimanded her. There was a goldfish flapping on the floor so I picked it up and put it back in the stone bowl that had a few other fish swimming in it too.
Then I had the impression I was talking to the parents of the two boys, particularly the mother, and sortof telling them about their boys' mistreatment of the fish or some sort of wrong they had done me... when suddenly the boys' mother asked me aggressively, "Where are our shoes?" I was taken aback of course, and said I had no idea. She said "Usually people steal the shoes of the people who stole their fish right?", indicating that she suspected me of stealing their shoes. I was quite indignant, but tried to suppress my anger and merely told her that I did not steal her shoes and asked her to be reasonable. I mean in the first place her statement admitted they had stolen our fish or something right? Somehow things degenerated into a shouting argument (I remember thinking: Perhaps I'm just letting off steam through this) and I remember yelling that such things wouldn't happen to us because we weren't so stupid as to leave our fish outside and let our children ill-treat them.
Then the woman came out of her house again with a clipboard with a form and a pencil, and made to start writing something. I figure she might be writing an account of the argument or something to make a complaint against me, but I'm conscious of not having done or said anything wrong so I'm not at all afraid, only standing there with a confident look waiting for her to write what she wanted. My mum walks by and asks me what happened, and I said I've been having an argument, and she said "Very loud?" The lady comes back and recognises my mum, and my mum looks at the form and asks, "Making a complaint ah?" and the lady says yes. Then she asks me how I know my mum and I say "She's my mother" and my mum smiles at the lady and says "So you're going to tell me next time we meet...?" The lady seems a bit flustered and says "No lah", but she continues writing anyway and I tell my mum I'm just waiting for her to finish her complaint and then I'll make mine. Then my mum tells me "Good, I also want to complain."
And at that point I wake up. Heh. It does feel good to be supported against unreasonable people :) But I'm very tired of conflict dreams. How oh how am I going to handle that exam later?
Friday, May 04, 2007
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Adventure Dreams :S
Yes they're back again. These dreams are slightly different from my usual talky, slightly-weird dreams, though... I feel like I've just been through an episode of Spy Kids, heh! Be warned, folks, this is long (have you ever tried to DESCRIBE an action movie in complete sentences??), but the most tense dream I've ever had, I think.
I think there were three parts to my dream, although I only remember two... the first part I think took place in a HDB flat, because I remember the facade of my old flat at Bukit Batok and I could see lots of people through the door, including my Dad's sister's family, but for some random reason I was going nearby with Mum and an unidentified younger relative to go and get something from a nearby shop, so Mum was telling me to wear my other slippers because she was wearing mine.
I just remembered there was a brief episode of going with a couple of relatives (definitely my brother was there) to buy a newspaper, I don't know for what reason. Somehow the smaller papers like The New Paper was our specific goal (when we generally don't read the smaller papers). We were in a car and I was the one who got out to buy the paper, with a $5 note in my hand. Surprisingly, one of our cousins on our mother's side is running the stall, and I ask her for The New Paper but my eyes are drawn to the pile of Archie comic books while waiting :P She hands me one of them instead of the newspaper and I quickly clarify that I want the newspaper instead... but on a sudden impulse I told her I'll take the Archie comic as well :P The total comes up to more than $5 so I tell her I'll get more money from the car, but she marches up to the car by herself and holds out The New Paper and the comic book. I'm a little embarrassed because I know my brother will chide me for buying the comic, but at any rate I try to ask for more money to pay for it... and actually after that I don't remember what happens :P I do have the impression though that we're looking for something to happen and be reported in the news, so I was actually asking my cousin for the Today paper or something like that, but she didn't seem to have it. Hmm.
I don't know how that progressed to the next part, but we were all in some bungalow house, and for some reason everybody had to leave to get something or other, and I was left alone in it. I think I must have been watching the news on TV, and then the doorbell rang, and just as I was going to open the door I had the sudden thought, "What if it's a robber who's trying to force his way in?" So before opening the door I peep through the peephole, and it's three of my family/relatives so I feel reassured and open the door, although I notice that they seem to be staring to the side. (Isn't it strange how you can never really see very much through these peep-hole things -- it's so easy to hide from their range of vision!) Sure enough, they come in through the door, but behind them comes this stocky man rather beyond middle age, threatening them with something which I couldn't see at the moment. I comtemplated slamming the door on him, but he moved too fast and was in before I could accomplish that and I figured it wouldn't be too smart to get him angry. And then I realised he was pointing TOOTHPICKS at us 0_o At first I was wondering "Toothpicks? Are they really capable of hurting us?" but those toothpicks did look rather sharp and my relative who just came in through the door handed me a few toothpicks whose points had been dented.
So I figured with a big house and a few of us around, we should be able to call the police, right? The problem is the guy wouldn't sit still and kept wandering around the house staring at everybody in turn (and holding his toothpicks), so it would be impossible to make a call because he would definitely hear it. I kept trying to think of ways to let the police know, and wishing they had an SMS crisis hotline! :S Finally he ordered me (as the youngest person there) to put on the radio, and for some reason I don't really know how to turn it on so I go fiddling all around it. While I'm doing that, I'm thinking all the time of how the radio sound might cover the sound of the police call. One of my relatives comes to help me and the man orders her to step back because he can't see what we're doing. While waiting for the radio, he gets one of us to turn on the TV or he turns it on himself, and there's quite a bit of noise when the radio finally goes on as well. I don't know why I ask him whether he wants the TV off (there should have been a LOT of noise to cover the call now) but there's a bit of confusion when I couldn't tell if he was referring to wanting the radio or the TV to be off, but in any case he eventually clarified the TV should be switched off, and then amazingly the radio, too.
Increasingly more family/relatives return, and we try to warn them through signs but they walk in too quickly... One of my aunts (whom I actually don't recognise 0_o) tries a bit too obviously and I'm afraid the guy has noticed, but he doesn't seem to have. An uncle tries some subtle handsigns while facing the open door, and I quickly cover for him by blocking him from the guy's line of sight by standing in front of him while apparently reading some document. In this position I can see out the door and there's a stranger there, some sort of delivery man, and he seems to be getting the signs. My uncle moves towards the door to make it clearer and I move with him, still covering him, and somebody hands me a dry-cleaned suit which I quickly grab and hold to help cover a bit more. For some reason my brother asks me why I am showing the toothpick guy the suit, and I quickly whisper to him that I'm using it to help cover my uncle's actions.
I don't know how we progress to the garden, but eventually we're there, and the toothpick guy appears to have left his toothpicks in the house. Some stuff happens but I'm not sure what; I only remember thinking that now he's out here someone can call the police from inside the house. At any rate he keeps his eye on me (*shudder*), and when a car comes by he's suddenly frightened and asks if it's the police. I say I don't know, but it turns out that it really is a police car, and he makes me lean back in my chair to cover him from the policemen's sight. The police car stops, though, and the policeman starts heading towards us, apparently to comment that our whole extended family is out in the yard but the house is completely dark (I had the impression there that toothpick guy made us turn off the lights). At that point I look back, and the toothpick guy is just crouching in his chair with no toothpicks in his hand, and I think: "Now or never!" and just launch myself at him, grabbing his arm and twisting it behind his back. Now I've heard that there's such a way of twisting someone's arm that will incapacitate them from running away, but of course I can't remember how to do it, so I just try my best and sit on his back as an added measure. I think one of the adult men come over to help me, but surprisingly there doesn't seem to be a big rush of them. Heh. At any rate I don't think much happens after that, although I have the strange impression that i'm still practising arm-twist holds on a much smaller person who keeps trying to wriggle away and keeps succeeding in getting her arms free.
That could be linked to the third and last part, where I'm apparently leading a few kids on some rescue mission in a toy factory or school and we're supposed to rescue some pony-like creature. I have a feeling we've done this before, because the place and the way the pony-like creature escapes detection is the same, and we tell each other "Same as last time" as we run through an empty dinner ballroom and reach the storeroom. (I think I might have dreamt of something similar, previously.) The difference is that when we reach the storeroom we can't find the pony-like creature. Instead, we uncover some kitty-like creatures disguised as lambs, and for some reason that appears to be the creatures we're supposed to rescue instead 0_o (I still think it's fascinating how goals can change so quickly and randomly in dreams :P) Also, the creatures are gently moving, but I have the impression that they're actually robotic, even though sentient in some way, which is why we're rescuing them. Anyway I keep a watch to see if anyone's coming, and I spot the waiters coming back into the ballroom, presumably to check it one last time and close up, so I quickly signal the other two kids to hide behind this rack with lots of hangers that we hid behind the last time. Somehow, though, we seem unable to get completely behind it like last time, and I'm watching the feet of the people walking outside the storeroom and feeling rather worried. One of the kids starts to speak but I suddenly remember that our voices might be recorded and put my finger on my lips to prevent them from speaking, being recorded and being recognised at a later date. (Later in the dream, I seem to have forgotten this precaution :P)
Imperceptibly the area outside the storeroom has changed from a dinner ballroom to a Japanese boarding school type of thing, and we appear to be dressed in school uniforms 0_o There are lots of youths walking around in school uniform and calling to their friends in the upper or lower floors, and a few strict-looking prefects going around telling everybody where they should be. One of them glares at the three of us for a bit, but we act nonchalent like it's perfectly normal for us to be there and the prefect appears to consider that we must be VIKs (Very Important Kids) since we're in a VIP room (0_o since when), so leaves us alone. We lie there just a little out of sight, waiting for them as they pull shut some vertical metal shutters so we can move around without being scrutinised. Just as we think we've got away with it, this small child (NOT dressed in school uniform) comes up to us. I've got the impression she's the daughter of the tycoon who owns/runs the place, and is going to denounce us, so with sinking heart I hear her say "I'm not going to let you get--" Suddenly, she is interrupted by her slightly older sister (who is still rather young but they look quite alike), who comes up to us and starts talking to us exactly as if we were her friends! (And we are no longer dressed in school uniform. Hmm.) I have a vague impression we've met her before and really did talk to her then, but anyway I'm very thankful and relieved at not being revealed. The older girl has a young boy in tow, and she introduces him as her younger brother and the other young girl as her sister. In turn, I introduce the two kids with me, and I suddenly realise they're my cousin Si'En and my niece Queenie (from different families on different sides of my family, and they're about the same age). Then I turn around and introduce my brother too (where did HE come from??), and for some strange reason I decide to tell these kids what we're trying to do, so I head to the back of the storeroom and get one of those cat-lamb things, and bring it back to the table (it's a table now 0_o and looks like my old Sunday School tables with the blue top) and open the box (which is strangely cheesecake-shaped). There are TWO of those creatures in it and I don't know how, but they seem to change into monkey-like creatures when taken out of the box and the children are delighted by them.
Suddenly, an older girl (more like a young adult; seemingly older than my dream self, who was in my teens rather than currently; she appears to be some sort of children's pop star, like Lindsay Lohan or Hilary Duff) walks into the room through a glass door (??), and we quickly hide the creatures we are holding under the table. She starts off on a circuitous route of telling us she knows what we are up to by asking us various questions, and after awhile I tire of it and tell her that I know what she wants to say and I know they sent her. This takes her by surprise and she laughs. Just then, a guy about her age and also one of those child TV stars walks in and is about to open his mouth when I decide to pre-empt him too, saying "Look, let's cut to the chase. You're here to tell us we suck, get out of here, they know we're here, right?" He is totally taken by surprise and laughs, too. I ask "Did I get anything wrong?" and he raises his hands and shrugs, indicating I haven't. So I tell them they can go, and the guy walks away still smiling in disbelief, and the girl walks out but she lingers a bit more, shaking her head with disbelieving smiles and taking our her handphone to SMS something.
At this point I've had enough suspense, so I get up and say "Alright, they know we're here, let's get out of here" and everybody starts packing to leave. Strangely, some kids are taping everything with brown tape and they appear to have taped over the cat-lamb creatures in their boxes by mistake :S I grab them and bring them to the table, and kids start tearing the brown tape off and freeing the creatures. I go back to the back of the room to look for a big sheet of paper to wrap something in (strangely, I have no idea what I'm supposed to wrap 0_o), and encounter my church childhood friend Grace Ong in a white frilly dress 0_o I've got the impression that I must thank her for the neat state of the storeroom, and I do, but while I'm trying to find a big piece of paper, I see that Grace Ong is trying to do something to her white frilly dress and Li-En, another church childhood friend, is trying to help her, him being dressed in black. At any rate I find a good piece of paper and rush back to the table and am about to distribute the creatures for the few of us to carry out of the factory...
And then I reach reality i.e. wake up gently. :) Had an interesting time after that just lying in bed and trying to think about how the rest of the rescue would be effected. I had the impression just before I woke that I had received some news that my brother was hurt, but how was that possible if he was right there in the rescue mission with us? So I ruminated on how I would handle the possible infiltration of an imposter, what if that girl had activated the locking of the glass doors, whether there'd be any traps if we slid down the garbage chute, whether I should go first as leader to make decisions and warn the rest of any traps or go last to be able to handle any situations like adults rushing in, whether they would be watching to put traps like motion lasers but only after I've gone first to try something out and thus trapping the rest of the younger ones, whether it would be wise to rush back for them, how we might escape such a motion laser trap, how we might fool them by sneaking out a side door and then throwing an object back to trigger the motion lasers and then running like heck, how the children's TV stars we saw might have been convinced to help us escape and leave the factory too, and how that might be accomplished, or how they might free the rest of the robot creatures kept by the hundreds in a hidden storeroom somewhere by activating them to escape, and how the robot creatures themselves might assist the two of them in escaping by transporting them and covering them and changing their appearance in minutes and forming flying transport vehicles, and how the creatures in our backpacks that we were trying to save might be activated by this escape command too and we would release them from our backpacks and what if someone's backpack didn't seem to be activated...
And ALL THIS happened in the course of one hour in real-life time. Whew. Is it any wonder dreams tire me out? :S Unfortunately after that, I can't really sleep any more. But I feel like I've already gone through an entire day and an active one, at least in my head. :S Now my body feels like sandpaper. Gahhh.
At any rate, now I know I'm not a coward, at least subconsciously. And yesterday's QT material emphasised "Be strong and of good courage", too :P But I just want my beauty sleep... *waaaaaaaaaaaaails*
I think there were three parts to my dream, although I only remember two... the first part I think took place in a HDB flat, because I remember the facade of my old flat at Bukit Batok and I could see lots of people through the door, including my Dad's sister's family, but for some random reason I was going nearby with Mum and an unidentified younger relative to go and get something from a nearby shop, so Mum was telling me to wear my other slippers because she was wearing mine.
I just remembered there was a brief episode of going with a couple of relatives (definitely my brother was there) to buy a newspaper, I don't know for what reason. Somehow the smaller papers like The New Paper was our specific goal (when we generally don't read the smaller papers). We were in a car and I was the one who got out to buy the paper, with a $5 note in my hand. Surprisingly, one of our cousins on our mother's side is running the stall, and I ask her for The New Paper but my eyes are drawn to the pile of Archie comic books while waiting :P She hands me one of them instead of the newspaper and I quickly clarify that I want the newspaper instead... but on a sudden impulse I told her I'll take the Archie comic as well :P The total comes up to more than $5 so I tell her I'll get more money from the car, but she marches up to the car by herself and holds out The New Paper and the comic book. I'm a little embarrassed because I know my brother will chide me for buying the comic, but at any rate I try to ask for more money to pay for it... and actually after that I don't remember what happens :P I do have the impression though that we're looking for something to happen and be reported in the news, so I was actually asking my cousin for the Today paper or something like that, but she didn't seem to have it. Hmm.
I don't know how that progressed to the next part, but we were all in some bungalow house, and for some reason everybody had to leave to get something or other, and I was left alone in it. I think I must have been watching the news on TV, and then the doorbell rang, and just as I was going to open the door I had the sudden thought, "What if it's a robber who's trying to force his way in?" So before opening the door I peep through the peephole, and it's three of my family/relatives so I feel reassured and open the door, although I notice that they seem to be staring to the side. (Isn't it strange how you can never really see very much through these peep-hole things -- it's so easy to hide from their range of vision!) Sure enough, they come in through the door, but behind them comes this stocky man rather beyond middle age, threatening them with something which I couldn't see at the moment. I comtemplated slamming the door on him, but he moved too fast and was in before I could accomplish that and I figured it wouldn't be too smart to get him angry. And then I realised he was pointing TOOTHPICKS at us 0_o At first I was wondering "Toothpicks? Are they really capable of hurting us?" but those toothpicks did look rather sharp and my relative who just came in through the door handed me a few toothpicks whose points had been dented.
So I figured with a big house and a few of us around, we should be able to call the police, right? The problem is the guy wouldn't sit still and kept wandering around the house staring at everybody in turn (and holding his toothpicks), so it would be impossible to make a call because he would definitely hear it. I kept trying to think of ways to let the police know, and wishing they had an SMS crisis hotline! :S Finally he ordered me (as the youngest person there) to put on the radio, and for some reason I don't really know how to turn it on so I go fiddling all around it. While I'm doing that, I'm thinking all the time of how the radio sound might cover the sound of the police call. One of my relatives comes to help me and the man orders her to step back because he can't see what we're doing. While waiting for the radio, he gets one of us to turn on the TV or he turns it on himself, and there's quite a bit of noise when the radio finally goes on as well. I don't know why I ask him whether he wants the TV off (there should have been a LOT of noise to cover the call now) but there's a bit of confusion when I couldn't tell if he was referring to wanting the radio or the TV to be off, but in any case he eventually clarified the TV should be switched off, and then amazingly the radio, too.
Increasingly more family/relatives return, and we try to warn them through signs but they walk in too quickly... One of my aunts (whom I actually don't recognise 0_o) tries a bit too obviously and I'm afraid the guy has noticed, but he doesn't seem to have. An uncle tries some subtle handsigns while facing the open door, and I quickly cover for him by blocking him from the guy's line of sight by standing in front of him while apparently reading some document. In this position I can see out the door and there's a stranger there, some sort of delivery man, and he seems to be getting the signs. My uncle moves towards the door to make it clearer and I move with him, still covering him, and somebody hands me a dry-cleaned suit which I quickly grab and hold to help cover a bit more. For some reason my brother asks me why I am showing the toothpick guy the suit, and I quickly whisper to him that I'm using it to help cover my uncle's actions.
I don't know how we progress to the garden, but eventually we're there, and the toothpick guy appears to have left his toothpicks in the house. Some stuff happens but I'm not sure what; I only remember thinking that now he's out here someone can call the police from inside the house. At any rate he keeps his eye on me (*shudder*), and when a car comes by he's suddenly frightened and asks if it's the police. I say I don't know, but it turns out that it really is a police car, and he makes me lean back in my chair to cover him from the policemen's sight. The police car stops, though, and the policeman starts heading towards us, apparently to comment that our whole extended family is out in the yard but the house is completely dark (I had the impression there that toothpick guy made us turn off the lights). At that point I look back, and the toothpick guy is just crouching in his chair with no toothpicks in his hand, and I think: "Now or never!" and just launch myself at him, grabbing his arm and twisting it behind his back. Now I've heard that there's such a way of twisting someone's arm that will incapacitate them from running away, but of course I can't remember how to do it, so I just try my best and sit on his back as an added measure. I think one of the adult men come over to help me, but surprisingly there doesn't seem to be a big rush of them. Heh. At any rate I don't think much happens after that, although I have the strange impression that i'm still practising arm-twist holds on a much smaller person who keeps trying to wriggle away and keeps succeeding in getting her arms free.
That could be linked to the third and last part, where I'm apparently leading a few kids on some rescue mission in a toy factory or school and we're supposed to rescue some pony-like creature. I have a feeling we've done this before, because the place and the way the pony-like creature escapes detection is the same, and we tell each other "Same as last time" as we run through an empty dinner ballroom and reach the storeroom. (I think I might have dreamt of something similar, previously.) The difference is that when we reach the storeroom we can't find the pony-like creature. Instead, we uncover some kitty-like creatures disguised as lambs, and for some reason that appears to be the creatures we're supposed to rescue instead 0_o (I still think it's fascinating how goals can change so quickly and randomly in dreams :P) Also, the creatures are gently moving, but I have the impression that they're actually robotic, even though sentient in some way, which is why we're rescuing them. Anyway I keep a watch to see if anyone's coming, and I spot the waiters coming back into the ballroom, presumably to check it one last time and close up, so I quickly signal the other two kids to hide behind this rack with lots of hangers that we hid behind the last time. Somehow, though, we seem unable to get completely behind it like last time, and I'm watching the feet of the people walking outside the storeroom and feeling rather worried. One of the kids starts to speak but I suddenly remember that our voices might be recorded and put my finger on my lips to prevent them from speaking, being recorded and being recognised at a later date. (Later in the dream, I seem to have forgotten this precaution :P)
Imperceptibly the area outside the storeroom has changed from a dinner ballroom to a Japanese boarding school type of thing, and we appear to be dressed in school uniforms 0_o There are lots of youths walking around in school uniform and calling to their friends in the upper or lower floors, and a few strict-looking prefects going around telling everybody where they should be. One of them glares at the three of us for a bit, but we act nonchalent like it's perfectly normal for us to be there and the prefect appears to consider that we must be VIKs (Very Important Kids) since we're in a VIP room (0_o since when), so leaves us alone. We lie there just a little out of sight, waiting for them as they pull shut some vertical metal shutters so we can move around without being scrutinised. Just as we think we've got away with it, this small child (NOT dressed in school uniform) comes up to us. I've got the impression she's the daughter of the tycoon who owns/runs the place, and is going to denounce us, so with sinking heart I hear her say "I'm not going to let you get--" Suddenly, she is interrupted by her slightly older sister (who is still rather young but they look quite alike), who comes up to us and starts talking to us exactly as if we were her friends! (And we are no longer dressed in school uniform. Hmm.) I have a vague impression we've met her before and really did talk to her then, but anyway I'm very thankful and relieved at not being revealed. The older girl has a young boy in tow, and she introduces him as her younger brother and the other young girl as her sister. In turn, I introduce the two kids with me, and I suddenly realise they're my cousin Si'En and my niece Queenie (from different families on different sides of my family, and they're about the same age). Then I turn around and introduce my brother too (where did HE come from??), and for some strange reason I decide to tell these kids what we're trying to do, so I head to the back of the storeroom and get one of those cat-lamb things, and bring it back to the table (it's a table now 0_o and looks like my old Sunday School tables with the blue top) and open the box (which is strangely cheesecake-shaped). There are TWO of those creatures in it and I don't know how, but they seem to change into monkey-like creatures when taken out of the box and the children are delighted by them.
Suddenly, an older girl (more like a young adult; seemingly older than my dream self, who was in my teens rather than currently; she appears to be some sort of children's pop star, like Lindsay Lohan or Hilary Duff) walks into the room through a glass door (??), and we quickly hide the creatures we are holding under the table. She starts off on a circuitous route of telling us she knows what we are up to by asking us various questions, and after awhile I tire of it and tell her that I know what she wants to say and I know they sent her. This takes her by surprise and she laughs. Just then, a guy about her age and also one of those child TV stars walks in and is about to open his mouth when I decide to pre-empt him too, saying "Look, let's cut to the chase. You're here to tell us we suck, get out of here, they know we're here, right?" He is totally taken by surprise and laughs, too. I ask "Did I get anything wrong?" and he raises his hands and shrugs, indicating I haven't. So I tell them they can go, and the guy walks away still smiling in disbelief, and the girl walks out but she lingers a bit more, shaking her head with disbelieving smiles and taking our her handphone to SMS something.
At this point I've had enough suspense, so I get up and say "Alright, they know we're here, let's get out of here" and everybody starts packing to leave. Strangely, some kids are taping everything with brown tape and they appear to have taped over the cat-lamb creatures in their boxes by mistake :S I grab them and bring them to the table, and kids start tearing the brown tape off and freeing the creatures. I go back to the back of the room to look for a big sheet of paper to wrap something in (strangely, I have no idea what I'm supposed to wrap 0_o), and encounter my church childhood friend Grace Ong in a white frilly dress 0_o I've got the impression that I must thank her for the neat state of the storeroom, and I do, but while I'm trying to find a big piece of paper, I see that Grace Ong is trying to do something to her white frilly dress and Li-En, another church childhood friend, is trying to help her, him being dressed in black. At any rate I find a good piece of paper and rush back to the table and am about to distribute the creatures for the few of us to carry out of the factory...
And then I reach reality i.e. wake up gently. :) Had an interesting time after that just lying in bed and trying to think about how the rest of the rescue would be effected. I had the impression just before I woke that I had received some news that my brother was hurt, but how was that possible if he was right there in the rescue mission with us? So I ruminated on how I would handle the possible infiltration of an imposter, what if that girl had activated the locking of the glass doors, whether there'd be any traps if we slid down the garbage chute, whether I should go first as leader to make decisions and warn the rest of any traps or go last to be able to handle any situations like adults rushing in, whether they would be watching to put traps like motion lasers but only after I've gone first to try something out and thus trapping the rest of the younger ones, whether it would be wise to rush back for them, how we might escape such a motion laser trap, how we might fool them by sneaking out a side door and then throwing an object back to trigger the motion lasers and then running like heck, how the children's TV stars we saw might have been convinced to help us escape and leave the factory too, and how that might be accomplished, or how they might free the rest of the robot creatures kept by the hundreds in a hidden storeroom somewhere by activating them to escape, and how the robot creatures themselves might assist the two of them in escaping by transporting them and covering them and changing their appearance in minutes and forming flying transport vehicles, and how the creatures in our backpacks that we were trying to save might be activated by this escape command too and we would release them from our backpacks and what if someone's backpack didn't seem to be activated...
And ALL THIS happened in the course of one hour in real-life time. Whew. Is it any wonder dreams tire me out? :S Unfortunately after that, I can't really sleep any more. But I feel like I've already gone through an entire day and an active one, at least in my head. :S Now my body feels like sandpaper. Gahhh.
At any rate, now I know I'm not a coward, at least subconsciously. And yesterday's QT material emphasised "Be strong and of good courage", too :P But I just want my beauty sleep... *waaaaaaaaaaaaails*
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Dream Distress -- and then the Lord's Love.
God answered a prayer of mine most quickly (Thank You, Lord :D) but that means the Dreams are back. Gahh! I'm even having them during naps now, and it's rather tiring...
This afternoon's was somewhat distressing too. It started off well, because I had a vague impression of being with my crush and being very happy, and even bumping into one or two of my ACJC classmates with friendly greetings. Then in between (or was it?) there was a part about helping my parents with something or other... And then I went back to look for those ACJC classmates to tell them this great idea I had for a reunion party/meetup. Was very pleased to see even more classmates turn up and they organised an impromptu gathering right then and there, but I couldn't join them because my parents were waiting for me to go somewhere... So I tried to tell them so, and ask them if they would be open to my idea for the reunion party, but nobody was listening to me except one girl. She asked the rest and nobody seemed to reply me, with only one Christian girl smiling at me without saying anything... And on top of that I had the impression that a few of my classmates were deliberately ignoring me.
Now this is a very hurtful feeling, even in a dream, so I made to go... I wondered if I should tell them I was going but nobody really seemed to care and even people whom I used to be able to talk to in the class were making arrangements to meet up with each other and nobody really bothered about me. And then a sudden rush of memory intruded my dream and I remembered the (real-life) reunion party that I was conveniently forgotten from, and in my dream I walked away briskly to find my parents and could hardly hold back my tears. :'(
Then it became even more distressing as I realised I'd taken longer than I expected and my parents would be fuming by now, so I rushed to the carpark to look for them... and they weren't where they were waiting before. I started worriedly walking around the carpark to try and find them, and I met a church auntie who said my parents were waiting for me in the next row, but before I got to the next row I saw two people who looked exactly like my parents but they were not in our car, instead in a sortof hybrid mini-van vehicle. I walked up to them but they didn't seem to see or recognise me, and made to drive off.
At this point I woke up... But the pain and distress have not yet fully left me. I know in many ways I have had a blessed, sheltered, some would say pampered life, but the pain of being a social outcast is very, very, VERY real, and nobody should ever discount that. :(
But I can't say I haven't been blessed. I've come a long way from my "social outcast" status and last year someone described me as "the life of the party". I'm not blind enough to agree with that, but I will admit that by God's immense grace I've learnt to be socially pliable in certain ways, while still maintaining the principles that got me labelled as an outcast in the first place. I've been given the opportunity to interact with a wide range of people such that I don't have to restrict my choices of friendships, and have been able to gather a good group of people in various areas of my life that I can talk to freely and pleasurably. Most importantly, throughout the years of pain I had wonderful support from my family that always, ALWAYS reminded me I was loved and valued as a person (except for my pimples, but that's another story). And through it all, I thank God for being my Rock and my Redeemer, for wiping my tears when I could no longer hold them back, for leading me to people who matter immeasurably more than I could have ever thought.
Here's to You, God, for taking a loner and making her into an extrovert over a period of 4 years with Your unfailing love. :)
Here's to you, my family, for always being there, always valuing, always encouraging (even in my failed endeavours), always praying with me and for me. :')
Here's to you, Dawny, my loving, laughing, closest friend of 10 years. :)
Here's to you, my love... for finally completing the circle of love God has put in my heart. :')
However, this post doesn't end with me... Having, as I say, a completed circle of love, I must make it my goal ever more to share this overwhelming, overflowing love I've received with others. And with my upcoming graduation, it seems the perfect time to look for a job that would allow me to do that as part of my daily activities. Don't you agree? :)
May your circle of love be complete in God. :)
This afternoon's was somewhat distressing too. It started off well, because I had a vague impression of being with my crush and being very happy, and even bumping into one or two of my ACJC classmates with friendly greetings. Then in between (or was it?) there was a part about helping my parents with something or other... And then I went back to look for those ACJC classmates to tell them this great idea I had for a reunion party/meetup. Was very pleased to see even more classmates turn up and they organised an impromptu gathering right then and there, but I couldn't join them because my parents were waiting for me to go somewhere... So I tried to tell them so, and ask them if they would be open to my idea for the reunion party, but nobody was listening to me except one girl. She asked the rest and nobody seemed to reply me, with only one Christian girl smiling at me without saying anything... And on top of that I had the impression that a few of my classmates were deliberately ignoring me.
Now this is a very hurtful feeling, even in a dream, so I made to go... I wondered if I should tell them I was going but nobody really seemed to care and even people whom I used to be able to talk to in the class were making arrangements to meet up with each other and nobody really bothered about me. And then a sudden rush of memory intruded my dream and I remembered the (real-life) reunion party that I was conveniently forgotten from, and in my dream I walked away briskly to find my parents and could hardly hold back my tears. :'(
Then it became even more distressing as I realised I'd taken longer than I expected and my parents would be fuming by now, so I rushed to the carpark to look for them... and they weren't where they were waiting before. I started worriedly walking around the carpark to try and find them, and I met a church auntie who said my parents were waiting for me in the next row, but before I got to the next row I saw two people who looked exactly like my parents but they were not in our car, instead in a sortof hybrid mini-van vehicle. I walked up to them but they didn't seem to see or recognise me, and made to drive off.
At this point I woke up... But the pain and distress have not yet fully left me. I know in many ways I have had a blessed, sheltered, some would say pampered life, but the pain of being a social outcast is very, very, VERY real, and nobody should ever discount that. :(
But I can't say I haven't been blessed. I've come a long way from my "social outcast" status and last year someone described me as "the life of the party". I'm not blind enough to agree with that, but I will admit that by God's immense grace I've learnt to be socially pliable in certain ways, while still maintaining the principles that got me labelled as an outcast in the first place. I've been given the opportunity to interact with a wide range of people such that I don't have to restrict my choices of friendships, and have been able to gather a good group of people in various areas of my life that I can talk to freely and pleasurably. Most importantly, throughout the years of pain I had wonderful support from my family that always, ALWAYS reminded me I was loved and valued as a person (except for my pimples, but that's another story). And through it all, I thank God for being my Rock and my Redeemer, for wiping my tears when I could no longer hold them back, for leading me to people who matter immeasurably more than I could have ever thought.
Here's to You, God, for taking a loner and making her into an extrovert over a period of 4 years with Your unfailing love. :)
Here's to you, my family, for always being there, always valuing, always encouraging (even in my failed endeavours), always praying with me and for me. :')
Here's to you, Dawny, my loving, laughing, closest friend of 10 years. :)
Here's to you, my love... for finally completing the circle of love God has put in my heart. :')
However, this post doesn't end with me... Having, as I say, a completed circle of love, I must make it my goal ever more to share this overwhelming, overflowing love I've received with others. And with my upcoming graduation, it seems the perfect time to look for a job that would allow me to do that as part of my daily activities. Don't you agree? :)
May your circle of love be complete in God. :)