Wondering

Sometimes I wonder if you really know - if you really, really know - how much I treasure each minute spent with you.

Sometimes, I wonder...

Struggling to Accept

The loneliness is back, and it's not going away.

How much longer can I pretend that everything is okay?

Still fighting the fear that after all this, I will still lose you.

I keep having to remind myself that you love me - and you really do, but I still have to remind myself of it.

You said you don't want a break-up, and it doesn't look like a break-up, but it feels like a break-up and it hurts like a break-up.

I want to just surrender and be dead to pain... Or go into a deep sleep and wake up just in time for us to reconnect, or get back together, or whatever the opposite of "break" is.

I'm no longer your angel; angels don't have broken hearts.

I want to cry and sleep and sleep and cry and cry and sleep and sleep and cry...

Reminder to Self:

This is a time for you to spend more time with God, to put your life in order, to go back to exploring your talents and interests.

This is NOT a time for you to lose yourself in Facebook and junk food.

Jesus hold me close in Your embrace