Once Again

Over and over again, I find peace in God's presence :)

Managed to put aside last night's frustrations and focus on worshipping God during DK Worship this morning, for which I am devoutly thankful to God Himself :P (Btw, I love how the kids are really taking to Hallelujah To The Lamb. It's generally considered one of the more complicated songs, but they picked it up so quickly and always sing the "hallelujah" part so enthusiastically, it never fails to bring tears to my eyes :') Indeed it is true that "out of the mouths of babes and infants, You have ordained praise"...) Later though when Randall, Abigail and Abigil (I keep wanting to stick an A into her name :P) had left and I was sitting by myself just under the keyboard (if you've never been in DK Worship, you wouldn't understand this :P), those ponderings came back and assailed me again. At that time, Amos (I keep wanting to call him Uncle Amos but he explained the last time how that made him feel old -- I get this alot from adults now that I'm supposedly one myself :P) was telling the story of the olive oil that filled up all the pots and pans in the house and he was doing a pretty good job of it too! I can tell all the kids enjoyed it and I wasn't sure the adults weren't having a ball of a time too :P I was only just able to keep my mind on the lesson, all the time pleading with God in my heart: "God, You know what's going on in my heart and what I am facing... What am I supposed to do that will be pleasing to You? What's in Your plan for me? And how will I know? Give me an answer... How am I supposed to live for You if I don't know what it means in this situation? Please give me an answer..." It helped that in my position I could see the huge cross in the chapel and be quite close to it, so I glanced up at it every now and then to reassure myself that God was listening to me, that He was THERE. That went on more or less until the story ended and Amos switched on the computer to show a slide that said...

"Psalm 34:10 ...those who seek the Lord will lack no good thing."

I don't know why, but it just seemed like God's answer to me somehow, even though at that time I hadn't fully thought out how it was His answer to me. But it just kept running on and on through my mind as Jennifer (almost Aunty Jennifer -- gahhh!) shared Wajiyah's story, and I kept staring at the cross (which was easier now because Jennifer was using the projector so it wasn't like I wasn't paying attention or anything) and I gradually became aware that the knots inside of me were slowly being unwound, not like physically but really in terms of emotions, I just felt myself begin to relax under God's warming influence... And somehow the story just served to impress the lesson further upon my heart.

Basically what she shared was how God took care of Wajiyah, this missionary lady from our church. Wajiyah first came to Singapore from Indonesia many years ago to work as a maid (the more politically-correct term is domestic helper. But in the local context, "maid" is more widely recognisable) and her employer happened to be Mrs Sonya (Sonia?) Cheong, mother of one of the DK teachers. Sonya treated her maid very well and even asked her what her ambitions were, and Wajiyah indicated that she would like to learn English. So Sonya taught her English, and as part of the lessons she taught her to read the Bible as well. As a result, Wajiyah became a Christian from believing what she read in the Bible.

After her contract expired, Wajiyah expressed a desire to serve God in Indonesia, but didn't know how to go about it. Sonya helped her contact a missionary in Indonesia named Dr Tan Kok Boon (I think) and asked what she should do. Dr Tan advised her to go to the Bible College in Lawang, which would give her 4 years of theological training. But Wajiyah wanted to know what would happen after that, where would she be able to serve God with her training? Dr Tan didn't know either, but he said he would pray about it.

As the 4 years went by, Dr Tan kept receiving phone calls from Indonesians who wanted to learn how to be missionaries -- but they didn't know English, and so they needed to be taught in Bahasa Indonesia. But he didn't know of any such school they could go to, so all he could do was take down their contacts and tell them he would pray about it. He had an idea that perhaps Batam would be a good place to set up something, but he had no concrete plans beyond that. Various other people prayed and prayed with him, but nobody seemed to have any idea what to do.

Finally the 4 years were drawing to a close, and Wajiyah called up Dr Tan, saying that she would be graduating soon and asking if he knew where she was going to go after her studies. She had not lost faith in God's providence all this time. Dr Tan could only tell her that he did not know as yet.

One day soon after that conversation, Dr Tan received a phone call from a woman who said she was going to donate a house. Dr Tan was delighted: "That's wonderful! Where is the house?" The reply came: Batam. It was God's answer to their prayers! :)

So Wajiyah finished her studies, and she and Dr Tan set up a Bible School in Batam with the (big, bungalow) house that the woman had donated, teaching all the Indonesians who wanted to be missionaries. Not only that, but when two other houseowners in that neighbourhood discovered what they were doing, they donated their houses too! So now the missionaries had THREE houses, and besides a Bible School they set up a kindergarten as well, and another centre whose purpose I've forgotten :P But that story was just amazing.

After that, Jennifer talked about how God loves to make jigsaw puzzles and bring all these separate pieces (Wajiyah, Mrs Sonya Cheong, Dr Tan, the Indonesians, the houseowners) together to form one beautiful picture (Wajiyah's ministry, providing the Indonesians with a Bible School). And as she did so, I was ruminating on the story by myself (still staring at the cross). The take-home point for the whole session was that God works miracles in our lives each and every day, and we only have to look out for them to recognise them. ("Take a look at the ordinary / don't need to look for paradise" :P) But through thinking about the verse and what it means to me, I came to this conclusion:

"With or without a partner, I will run this race. I'll walk Your path for me; I will seek Your face!"

As in marathons (or so I've heard; not much of an athlete myself :P), if you have a running partner you can actually be motivated to run faster and further because the both of you are providing each other company along the arduous, tedious route and spurring each other on to the end. But that doesn't mean that if you don't have a partner you will deflate and sink to the ground; you can still finish the race by simply continuing to give of your best, and striving on for the goal! And you will be no less rewarded by God :) (In fact, some theories have it that if you have a partner the journey becomes even more arduous instead. But I don't know anything about this so I shut up :P)

And I repeat again the verse that brought this home to me :)
Psalm 34:10 "...But those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing."
(Interestingly, God has been pointing me to Psalm 34 quite frequently in recent times. I think I will "test God" by waiting awhile to see if He points me back to another part of it again before I post it up in whole ;P)

And yes, that's one of the reasons why I didn't go for Contemporary Worship today. I felt more or less like I had attended a full service already, which is what Edmond always intended for the Children's Ministry anyway :) Besides which, I had an essay to rush that I'm still rushing :(

Totally unconnected song, but what the heck :D

And once again I look upon the cross where You died
I'm humbled by Your mercy, and I'm broken inside
Once again I thank You
Once again I pour out my life